Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Therapy in Kansas City
You are not too sensitive, and you are not imagining it. Narcissistic abuse can leave you doubting your memory, your judgment, and your worth. Therapy with a clinician who understands these patterns can help you find solid ground again.
In person at our Brookside office or online. Sessions in English and Spanish.
If you are reading this, something may not feel right
Maybe you left the relationship and you still cannot stop replaying it. Maybe you are still in it, and you are tired of explaining yourself to a person who always seems to hear something different from what you said. Maybe you grew up with a parent whose moods ran the household, and you are only now starting to put words to it.
However you got here, we want you to hear this first: what happened to you matters. You do not need a perfect timeline, proof, or a clear label to deserve support. You do not need to be sure it was "bad enough." If it left you confused, anxious, small, or doubting yourself, that is reason enough to talk to someone.
Narcissistic abuse recovery is real, and it is possible. People rebuild trust in their own mind. People learn to feel calm in their body again. People make decisions from a place of clarity instead of fear. At gokc, narcissistic abuse recovery therapy is led by Teresa Gomez, PLPC, a Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician (NATC) with more than 20 years of experience helping people heal from painful relationships.
Does any of this sound familiar?
People who have lived through narcissistic abuse often describe the same experiences, even when their stories look very different. You might recognize some of these:
- You second-guess your memory, even about things you know you saw or heard.
- You apologize often, even when you are not sure what you did wrong.
- You feel like you are walking on eggshells, watching for the next mood shift.
- You were showered with attention at the start, and now you keep trying to earn that version of them back.
- Your concerns get turned around until you are the one defending yourself.
- You have pulled away from friends or family, or they have stopped understanding what is going on.
- You miss the person who hurt you, and then feel ashamed for missing them.
- You feel numb, exhausted, or on edge, and sleep does not fix it.
- You have trouble making simple decisions without worrying you will get them wrong.
- You no longer feel like the person you were before this relationship.
- You are afraid to trust your own instincts, or to trust anyone new.
- People tell you the person is charming, and you feel alone in what you know.
If you nodded to several of these, you are not broken. These are common responses to being in a relationship where your reality was repeatedly questioned and your needs came second. They are signs that you adapted to survive something hard. They are also patterns that can change.
What narcissistic abuse is, in plain language
"Narcissistic abuse" is a phrase people use for a pattern of emotional and psychological mistreatment, often involving manipulation, control, blame, and a lack of empathy, from someone with strong narcissistic traits. It is not an official diagnosis, and the person who hurt you may or may not have narcissistic personality disorder. We do not need to diagnose them to help you. Our focus is on what you experienced, how it affected you, and how you heal.
Many people describe a cycle that repeats over time. It does not look the same in every relationship, but these four stages come up again and again:
Idealize
Intense attention, flattery, and fast closeness. You feel chosen and seen. This is often called love bombing.
Devalue
Criticism, silent treatment, blame, and gaslighting. You start to work harder to keep the connection.
Discard
Withdrawal, cruelty, or abandonment, sometimes after you finally set a boundary or voice a need.
Hoover
Sudden warmth, apologies, or promises that pull you back in, and the cycle begins again.
Gaslighting is one of the most disorienting parts. When someone denies what they said, rewrites what happened, or tells you that you are "dramatic" or "crazy," you can lose trust in your own perception. That loss of trust is not a character flaw. It is the intended effect of the tactic, and it is something we can rebuild together.
These patterns can show up with partners, parents, siblings, coworkers, friends, and even in communities where one person holds a lot of power. The relationship is different each time. The impact on your mind and body often feels similar.
Why it is so hard to leave, and so hard to stop thinking about
People often ask themselves, "Why didn't I see it sooner?" or "Why can't I just move on?" The honest answer is that these relationships are built in a way that makes clear thinking difficult.
When affection and cruelty alternate, your brain and body learn to chase the good moments. This is sometimes called a trauma bond. The unpredictability can feel more powerful than steady kindness ever would, which is why you can miss someone who hurt you and feel confused by your own longing. That longing does not mean you made a mistake. It means you are human.
Shame and isolation make it harder. The person may be warm and respected in public, so you wonder who will believe you. There may be children, money, a shared home, a family business, or a workplace tying you to them. All of these are real reasons that leaving, or staying low contact, is complicated.
You do not have to have everything figured out to begin. Healing starts with being believed.
Who this therapy is for
Narcissistic abuse does not only happen between romantic partners. Teresa works with adults who have been affected in many kinds of relationships, including:
Partners and exes
You are in, leaving, or recovering from a romantic relationship where you felt controlled, criticized, or constantly confused. You may be dealing with the aftermath of a breakup, a divorce, or a pull to go back.
Adult children of narcissistic parents
You grew up managing a parent's moods, being the "good one" or the scapegoat, and learning that love was conditional. Now you notice the effects on your self-worth, your boundaries, and your relationships as an adult.
Co-parents of a high-conflict ex
You are trying to raise children with someone who turns every exchange into a battle. You need support staying steady, setting boundaries, and protecting your own mental health while you parent.
People harmed at work
You have a boss, coworker, or leader who undermines you, takes credit, and rewrites events, and you have started doubting your skills and your place at work.
Siblings, in-laws, and friends
The person who hurt you is a sibling, a partner's family member, or a close friend. You are tired of the family role you have been handed and want to find a different way to relate.
If your situation does not fit neatly into one of these boxes, that is okay. Many people carry more than one of these stories. We will start wherever feels most pressing for you.
How narcissistic abuse can show up in your life
The effects often reach beyond the relationship itself. Many people notice some mix of the following, and each is a recognized response to chronic stress and mistreatment:
In your mind and emotions. Anxiety, intrusive thoughts, low mood, self-blame, difficulty concentrating, and a harsh inner critic that sounds a lot like the person who hurt you.
In your body. A body that stays on alert, trouble sleeping, tension, stomach trouble, fatigue, or feeling startled and jumpy. When you have lived with unpredictability, your nervous system learns to brace.
In how you relate. People-pleasing, over-apologizing, difficulty saying no, fear of conflict, or pulling away from closeness altogether. Some people notice they feel drawn to similar dynamics and want to understand why.
In your sense of self. Not knowing what you want, what you like, or who you are outside of the relationship. After years of managing someone else's needs, your own can feel hard to find.
When these experiences are severe or long-lasting, they can overlap with post-traumatic stress and complex trauma. That is one reason we pair narcissistic abuse recovery with trauma-informed care. You deserve a therapist who sees the full picture and does not treat your reactions as a personal failing.
Meet Teresa Gomez, PLPC
Teresa is a Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician (NATC) and a Provisional Licensed Professional Counselor with more than 20 years of experience. Her approach is compassionate, inclusive, and empowering. She helps people make sense of what happened, feel less alone in it, and move toward a life that feels like their own.
Narcissistic abuse and antagonistic relational stress are central parts of her work, alongside trauma therapy, couples therapy, and women's issues. She holds a Master's in Counseling Psychology from Avila University and is trained and certified in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). She also works with EMDR and brings training in the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to her work with couples.
- Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician (NATC)
- More than 20 years of clinical experience
- DBT trained and certified
- EMDR for trauma processing
- Master's in Counseling Psychology, Avila University
- Bilingual: therapy in English and Spanish
- In person at our Brookside office or online
Teresa also supports women through hormonal and life-stage mental health concerns, such as PCOS, infertility, and menopause, which can be especially hard to carry when you have also been made to doubt yourself.
What therapy with Teresa can look like
Every person arrives with a different story, so your plan will be shaped around you. In general, narcissistic abuse recovery moves through three overlapping phases. You can move back and forth between them, and you set the pace.
-
Get safe, steady, and clear
We start by making sense of your experience and building a sense of safety. Teresa helps you name the patterns you lived through, so the confusion starts to lift. You also learn practical DBT skills for distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and setting boundaries, so you have tools when things get intense. You do not have to decide anything about the relationship before your first session, and you will not be pushed toward a decision before you are ready.
-
Process what still hurts
Once you have more stability, therapy makes room for the memories, beliefs, and feelings that still run in the background. Many people carry the voices of their abuser as their own inner critic, or relive certain moments in vivid detail. EMDR can help your brain reprocess those experiences so they feel less present and less powerful. This is also where grief belongs. You may be mourning the person, the future you pictured, or the childhood you wanted.
-
Rebuild trust in yourself
Healing is not only about getting over what happened. It is about becoming more fully yourself. We work on trusting your instincts again, noticing red flags and green flags, speaking up for your needs, and building relationships where you are treated with respect. For many people, this phase also includes finding their voice, rediscovering what they enjoy, and imagining a future that is not organized around someone else's moods.
Therapy is not a test, and there is no right way to do it. If a session feels like too much, we slow down. If you need to talk about something practical, such as a boundary conversation or a family event, we make room for that too.
Healing can happen outside, too
gokc is a nature therapy practice, and the outdoors can be a gentle place to recover from relationships that made you feel boxed in. Teresa is interested in bringing Walk-and-Talk therapy and nature-based EMDR into her work for clients who want it. Some people find it easier to talk when they are moving. Others feel calmer with open sky, fresh air, and something living in view.
If the outdoors is not for you, that is just fine. Many clients prefer the privacy and comfort of an office or a video session, and Teresa meets you where you are. You and Teresa can talk about what feels supportive and decide together.
Spring flowers do not bloom on a schedule you can force, and neither does healing. But they do come back, and so can you.
What healing can look like
Recovery rarely arrives as one big moment. More often, it shows up in small changes that you notice looking back. Many people describe things like these as therapy moves forward:
The fog starts to lift. You trust your memory of events again. When someone tries to rewrite what happened, you can feel the difference between what you know and what you are being told.
Your body settles. You sleep a little better. A text notification no longer makes your stomach drop. You can sit through a disagreement without feeling like you are in danger.
The inner critic gets quieter. The harsh voice that says you are too much, not enough, or always the problem begins to lose its authority. You start speaking to yourself the way you would speak to a friend.
Boundaries feel possible. You can say no without a long explanation. You can tell the difference between a boundary and a punishment, and you do not feel guilty for protecting your peace.
You start wanting things again. A hobby, a trip, a friendship, a new routine. Your life begins to include your preferences, not just your survival.
There will still be hard days. Triggers, grief, and setbacks are a normal part of the process and do not erase your progress. What changes is that you have more tools, more self-trust, and someone in your corner who understands the road you are on.
Support from a team that treats trauma every day
Narcissistic abuse recovery often overlaps with trauma, anxiety, depression, and attachment wounds, and it is rarely just one thing. Teresa is part of a group practice where many of our clinicians have their own specialties, including trauma-focused care and EMDR. That means if your needs change, or you want a different fit, you are not starting over somewhere new.
You can learn more about how we approach these services here:
Not sure who to start with? Our therapist match quiz can help you find a clinician whose style and focus fit what you are carrying.
A note on couples therapy. Teresa offers couples therapy, and it can be a good fit for many couples. But when one partner is using fear, control, or manipulation, couples sessions can put the person being harmed at greater risk and rarely work as hoped. In those situations, individual therapy is usually the safer first step. If you are not sure which fits you, Teresa can talk through it with you.
Taking the first step
Reaching out can feel risky when you have spent so long feeling unheard. Here is what to expect: you send a short inquiry, our team responds, and we help you get scheduled. Your first session is a conversation. Teresa will ask what brought you in, what you hope to feel differently, and what would help you feel comfortable. You are welcome to share as much or as little as you like.
If you are worried about being seen reaching out, consider using a private device and a safe email address. We will always work with you on what feels workable for your situation.
Common questions about narcissistic abuse therapy
Is what I experienced really narcissistic abuse?
Narcissistic abuse is a term for a pattern, not a diagnosis. If someone repeatedly twisted your words, dismissed your feelings, controlled your choices, or made you responsible for their moods, the impact on you is real, whatever label fits best. In therapy, we focus on what happened to you and how you are doing now. You do not have to prove anything to begin.
Do I need to leave or go no contact before starting therapy?
No. Many people start therapy while they are still in the relationship, still deciding, or still sharing a family, workplace, or custody schedule with the person. Teresa will not pressure you toward any decision. Therapy is a place to get clear, build safety, and choose your next steps at your own pace.
Will you diagnose my partner, parent, or boss?
No. A therapist cannot diagnose someone they have not evaluated, and it is not needed for your healing. We look at the patterns you lived through, how they affected you, and what helps you recover.
Why do I miss them if they hurt me?
Missing someone who hurt you is common and does not mean something is wrong with you. Cycles of closeness and cruelty can create a powerful emotional bond, often called a trauma bond. Grief is part of recovery, and therapy can help you make sense of both the pain and the longing.
How long does narcissistic abuse recovery take?
There is no single timeline. Some people feel real relief after learning to recognize the patterns. Others work through deeper layers over many months. The pace depends on your history, your current safety, your support system, and your goals. Teresa checks in with you about progress so you are never left guessing.
What is the difference between DBT and EMDR for this work?
DBT builds skills for strong emotions, stress, and boundaries, which can help you feel steadier right away. EMDR helps your brain reprocess memories that still feel as if they are happening now. Teresa may use one, both, or start with one and add the other, depending on what you need. You can read more on our EMDR page.
Can couples therapy help if my partner has narcissistic traits?
It depends on safety. Couples therapy works best when both people can speak honestly without fear. If there is ongoing control, manipulation, or fear, individual therapy is usually the safer first step. Teresa offers couples therapy and can help you think through what fits your situation.
Is therapy in person or online?
Teresa sees clients in person at our Brookside office and online. Sessions are available in English and Spanish.
Is what I share confidential?
Therapy is confidential, with a few legal limits that your therapist will explain at your first session.
If you are not safe right now
Therapy is not an emergency service. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. If you are afraid of someone you live with, or you think leaving could put you at risk, you do not have to plan it alone. Free, confidential support is available at any hour:
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788, or chat at thehotline.org
- 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988 if you are having thoughts of ending your life or feel overwhelmed
If the person who hurt you can see your phone or computer, consider using a device they cannot access and clearing your browsing history after you visit this page.
You do not have to keep carrying this by yourself
What happened to you was real, and so is your ability to heal from it. Reach out when you are ready. We would be honored to walk alongside you.
Teresa también ofrece terapia en español. Más información